Either IrfanView cocked up, or I accidentally uploaded the wrong images. Meh, it's just a one-off error... hopefully.

Oh, and I'll try to loosen up on the Donald hate since it's getting a tad overused at this point in my opinion, and the characters at this point just talk incessantly for no real reason so I've tried to condense it to the important stuff. Hopefully this won't wreck the shit out of the "plot".



What? What is it?



Crap... doesn't look like we'll make it in time. Oh well, she's dead.

Genie, I wish for you to save Jasmine!

You can just go and do that I guess.



I wanted to feign it being impossible and then save her at the last second.



Well, this is a predicament. Guess there's only one thing to do: use Robin Williams Genie again.

Sorry, Genie. But you're the only one who can-
Wait! This is your last wish! Don't waste it. This time, let US handle the wish-granting!

That line would be badass enough to save Sora, but it's one line and he's had his proper moments already (see: Olympus).

Another forced battle; nothing too difficult, and I open with Blitz to show it off.

The reward was an Ether. Ethers are pretty useless; they're to magic what Potions are to weapons. They cost more CP as well - I don't use magic enough to justify putting one of these in my deck.



The screen flashes and everyone "!"s; something's gone awry naturally. In this case, the lamp has disappeared!



No prizes for guessing who this smug bastard is. He also has a tendency for speaking in larger walls of text than Finkelstein did before (yet he doesn't quite reach Oogie's one-off speech, he does beat him overall).

I was certain you'd waste your last wish...what with poor Jasmine in distress and the Heartless to deal with. But no matter. At last the lamp is mine to command!

Jafar thinks Aladdin was going to use the lamp to "win" Jasmine (...yeah...) but he's the one whom Jasmine will marry, for this will let him become king!

Yup, he actually says that if he marries Jasmine, nothing can prevent him from becoming the king. This raises a number of questions for a very simple reason: Agrabah doesn't have a king, it has a Sultan. This either a translation error (possible) or Jupiter fucked up big time. The prior is more believable, but I prefer the latter.

Genie! My first wish! Deliver Jasmine to me!



Well, looks like he has a bargaining chip of some kind... Nah, he's probably going to mess with things he shouldn't be able to (i.e. free will). The fact that he buggered off pretty much straight after proves as much.

Well, you can feel bad about it some other time. If you don't pull yourself together, you'll never see Jasmine again! You lost the lamp. So what? You can still save her on your own. Losing someone you care abut is bad, but not as bad as never getting them back!

Deep words of wisdom from Sora. His intelligence seems to vary from world to world; he got a good deal here it seems.

Looks like we'll need a plan of attack, since Jafar's going to be untouchable at the moment. Hmm... Only one thing to do: head to the next room!



Not quite, for this is the wonderful plan!

Aladdin, now!



What? You! Genie seize him!



Al gets punted to a different part of the screen, but at least it made Jafar waste a wish. Naturally, this makes Jafar get very pissed and use his last wish, to... well...



Guess what that means? Yep: boss fight!

This fight is pretty unconventional for one reason:



Jafar is immune to all forms of damage. So, how do you beat him? See that shadow beneath Jafar's hand? That's Iago, and he's carrying the lamp. You wreck the lamp instead of the Djinn. As for Jafars attacks?



He dives into the lava, gets a giant rock and throws it at you. Can be easy to dodge, but can be hard to dodge. Depends on floor placement.



Eye lasers. Unless you're idle, or stupid, these should never hit you. Ever.



He hits the ground causing the smallest shockwave ever. Requires poor timing to get hit by.

As for his cards? He can any value he pleases, so be aware of that. He won't use his card though.

This fight is one of the few ones where magic is outright useless (exception: Cure of course) since most of the time, it'll miss Iago making it a waste. Just stock up on high-numbered weapons and your set (I added a few more physical enemy cards to my deck to use in this fight; I forgot to use them). Oh, and in case I haven't said it yet: the floor changes height. At random. You can get the Disney Card (from Guard Armor) in this fight, which sets the three tiles at the hightest level but there's no real use in it since that's more of a hinderance.


(Boss link like normal; picture looks different to the rest because I forgot about it until after I saved at the end of the world)

I don't fully remember what this does, but it's some form of attack boost; it's not quite as useless as a bigger attack range, but it still lacks any feasible uses. I can't recall ever using it and I've used some of the other stuff that's pretty useless.



Hey, Aladdin, don't you still have one wish left?

He sure does. Time for me to make a prince outta this guy! 'Course, I'd like to be free. But like they say, genies can't be choosers. You're probably miffed about that whole puppet-of-Jafar thing, anyway. Go on, Al. Wish for what's really in your heart. Be a prince. Get the girl.

I wish for Genie's freedom!

Genie gains his freedom. And legs!

Now no one like Jafar can use you for evil again. Genie, you're free!

Aladdin learns his lesson about how he should just be himself and not "win" Jasmine via Genie's magic. D'aww.

Genie also gives us a card so we can leave this world with a happy ending for everyone!



It's not a bad card, but it's not great either. Genie doesn't really get good until KHII anyway IMO.

Something interesting I noticed: despite being very important to KH1's plot, here Jasmine never said a damn thing.

So, with another world down, a question for you all: where do I go next?

Wonderland,
Olympus Colliseum,
Agrabah,
Monstro,
Halloween Town

I also prefer this explanation... seems feasible to me.



Yes, and thank you for demonstrating how to be hit by them.



But what do I do if I have great timing? How am I supposed to take damage then?



I smell an After School Special!



Great update! Jafar seemed to be a rather mediocre boss, at best.

I vote for Wonderland next! There's always fun to be had in Wonderland!

If I wanted to be ever so cliché at this point, I'd make a joke about the main a character having amnesia and how it's ridiculously overused but I'd like to think I'm more original than that (even though I likely aren't). Besides, the joke wouldn't really work in this case anyway since we've established that the party is losing (and, in Sora's case, gaining) random memories as they progress through the castle.



You want to find Riku and the king, don't you?
Well, yeah...

Donald walks off and Sora's left to lament his forgotten friend some more.

It was on the tip of my tongue...

And that's the end of this floor. Well, there's always talking to Goofy and Donald before advancing, but I digress.



I'm not entirely sure if I should mock this for being a (bad) pun or not, so I'll take the safer option and not do so since I can't think of a means to do it without it coming across as forced and likely end up being stifled in the first place.



When in doubt, refuge in familiarity it would seem,

Between the floors:



I shit you not, this is the entire interlude scene. BHL drawing something. No dialogue, no action, nothing but her in that chair drawing.



So, what does Sora remember this time?



There was...? I haven't played KH1 for a while, but I don't remember this.



Oh, I know who he means now! It's Selphie (yes, the Selphie from Final Fantasy VIII).



Unfortunately, Sora still doesn't remember her name (Selphie Timmit) but I guess it's only a matter of time. I'm amazed he hasn't mentioned Tidus or Wakka (both from Final Fantasy X) in some context yet actually.




Since this update would be rather short, I'll just leave you with the knowledge that we're eventually off to:



By eventually, I mean right now.




The queen will roast me for dinner! If I'm late for the trial, it'll be off with MY head next!

Something about roasted rabbit sounds oddly appealing...

Err, anyway;



Yes, Sora, that's what he said so let's go see what the hell he meant by a trial.

Wonderland boasts an amazing total of new enemies. That total is none other than one.



Crescendo is the most pointless enemy in the game. Shadows are more threatening than this thing, I don't think it can even attack. In Kingdom Hearts II it summons more heartless, so I'd presume it does the same thing here but I've never seen it do anything so I'm just guessing.

Since there's not much to detail this time, I might as well just continue on with the plot and clear out the entire map as per usual. Lets see what new cards I'm able to acquire on the way.





Sonic Blade is okay, I guess, the only major problems are that a lot of the time you'll accidentally trigger Stun Impact since that has the exact same numerical range but a slightly different card requirement, and I've never managed to get 6 attacks per use out of it - you need pretty good timing from my experience. I'll try and use it sometimes, but it's not as good as Blitz which is gotten quite a fair bit earlier.

This world's Calm Bounty treasure:



Ah Stop, how so very useless you are... This spell does exactly what you'd expect which seems awesome, but it has the biggest down side ever. The down side? It lasts for the better part of 3 seconds (give or take) which makes it incredibly useless, and the few things you'd like to use it on are immune in the first place.



I appreciate that it's somewhat hard to see here, but just behind the Keyblade, there's a little gold drop that isn't experience. It's, quite possibly, the rarest thing to get in the entire game (I'd estimate it as being an approximate 1/256 chance) and it's arguably not worth it. What does it do?



It allows you to change one card from your deck into a Premium. It's nothing fancy but it can be helpful I suppose. I ended up with a Premium Blizzard, which is somewhat useful but I already have about 6 of them.

Speaking of premiums, I managed to get this from the Moogle Shop - and it was in the free pack;



Two Lady Lucks, Two Three Wishes and a Pumpkinhead. The stats for the Three Wishes are identical to the Lady Luck but with one difference, Three Wishes has an attack of C+ making it slightly stronger.

Since I now have nothing new to display (yet; there is one thing I can do at any time but I'm saving it for later due to it being actually feasibly possible then) let's finally advance the plot.



If I were to guess, I'd say that this is the trial the White Rabbit mentioned.





You are charged with aiding the Heartless who threaten this kindgom! The evidence is... I forgot! That's the evidence! Because you, Alice, are the one who stole my memory! The court has reached a verdict! The sentence is death!

Hold it! This trial is a farce! You should investigate before you arrest innocent people!

What is the meaning of this? Are you saying Alice didn't steal my memory? I suppose you know who the real culprit is, then!

I'm the thief!

Cards! Seize them all!

As you'd expect, this is a mini-boss battle. You get the Card Soldier card for winning, which has another pointless attack effect. This card changes slightly, however, depending on which Card Soldier you beat last. The effect is static, the variable is the appearance. Nothing fancy then. I ended up with the Red Card Soldier graphic but it doesn't make a difference either way.

Card Soldier battle

Next time, the rest of Wonderland. Maybe I'll get it done by tomorrow, maybe not. Depends how lazy I feel.

Wonderland... yeah. As much as I love the original stories by Lewis Carroll, I never liked Disney's version. And even though one room had some interesting gimmicks in the first KH, it didn't make it any better for me. So I hope you'll be done with this one quickly =P

Actually, the Jafar card prevents you from being Card Broken. Which isn't EXCEPTIONALLY useful because there really aren't many times in the game where you will be intentionally broken, but it's still more useful than Guard Armor if you want to mash on the A button for a bit.

Okay, now that a new guy has given me a reason to finally update again, expect an update by Thursday/tomorrow (depending on time zones) and possibly frequent updates thereafter (bwahahahahahahaha) since I'll be able to actually form a minor backlog for now! ?

E; Eh, screw it. I'mma post it now.

You're almost as bad as me.

Almost.

I consider that an honour in, and of, itself. If I didn't actually get a somewhat legit reason (well, not really, I just want to finish this before new guy does presuming he starts it; yeah, my reasoning is totally selfish but whatever), I'd likely be a good contender for being as bad, if not worse.

Or maybe not, since just over 20 updates in ~2 years would be hard as hell to be better worse than.

Well, when you put it like that...

Firstly, I'd like to inform you all that I am, in fact, better at Sonic Blade than I thought as I managed to pull off a full 6 strikes with it twice in a row whilst grabbing these shots. That said, it's time for stuff and things and killing stuff with things.

Initially, instead of getting on with the plot of this world (because, well, it's fucking Wonderland) I decided to go and gather up some enemy cards/moogle points to buy decent magic (i.e. Cure and Cloud) and I got a few repeats of enemy cards and stuff (which basically correlates into being far more Red Nocturnes than a sane person would want) I found myself reaching level 27 and getting this:




This is, without a doubt, my favouritest sleight in the entire game. I know I harp on, to some degree, about how Blitz is extremely useful given how early you get it, but this is even better and can break some of the harder boss fights by rendering them incapable of doing shit. Whilst I don't show it off against the boss of Wonderland, because it's a pussy, I can assure you that this sleight is, by far, one of the most useful (even though it is highly situational). The costs, for example, ensure that it is impossible for pretty much everything to break it unless it decides to pull a 0 out of its ass, but the bosses you would use this against actually have decks and thus don't have that luxury.

After enough dicking around trying to farm Moogle Points (I got a few extra cards but I actually decided to use one for a bit to make random encounters easier because, really, Large Bodies are annoying as hell to kill normally, so I threw in a Gravity-9 I picked up) it's time to get on with the plot!



Alice: I don't mean to be ungrateful, but was that true what you said back there? Are you really the thief?
Sora: Of course not! Why would I steal the Queen's memory?

Well, it's true that Sora does have frequent bouts with stupidity but I doubt even he would... where was I going with this again?

Alice: Well, you saved me all the same. Thank you, Sora.




Everyone's favourite cat with an insanely large grin and it just loves spouting off a wall of text, that make€s absolutely no fucking sense whatsoever but is still useful in the end.



Cat: The queen's a stickler for justice! She won't forget you till she remembers! She won't stop hounding you till you get her memory back! Did she forget because she remembers? Did she remember that she forget? Doesn't matter I suppose. You should do something. But you don't have to do anything. If you can't remember something, it's like it never even happened. Likewise, if something never happened, you can't remember it. Try too hard to remember, and your memory might lie to you. That's all I'll say. The rest is for you to figure out.

Now he finally shuts up and not a moment too soon. The boss is fightable once the cat pisses off, but first it's important to realise that out of all he said, none of it is important at all other than the very last sentence re memory. The rest of it, is completely pointless. Chain of Memories!



It's the Bizarro Room, which was used for a fetch quest disguised as not being a fetch quest in the first Kingdom Hearts. Twice. I'm glad that part was omitted at least.



Queen:Thought you'd seen the last of me, did you? Well, game's up scoundrels! For stealing my memory, I sentence you to...



This is supposed to represent the screen flashing, but I don't think it quite works as planned. Still, I digress.



Queen: I sentence you to...I...sentence...What's going on? Where am I? What in the world am I doing? Confound it, I can't remember!
Goofy: Maybe somebody swiped her memory again.
Alice: Something's coming!



The Trickmaster. Second easiest boss in the game - just harder than Axel because he can put up a fight and you can't hit him easily - under normal conditions, and he still is for that matter. He technically has a whole two attacks, but he has three animations and can step on you because it's that tall. Other than standing on you, its attacks include:



Fire!



Quake!

And...

That's it. It has a third animation where it basically twirls its flaming batons but that does absolutely nothing.

In case it isn't already painfully obvious, Fire can be dodged by moving either up or down and Quake can be dodged by jumping. And this fight has a lot of jumping anyway. I think Trickmaster is supposed to be weak to Ice since that does extinguish his batons in Kingdom Hearts but it just deals the same mediocre damage here as it does against everything that isn't Fire elemental. (It's actual weakness would be Thunder Lightning, but the Thunder card can't be acquired until after finishing every early-game world.) And, of course, like every other boss he's immune to every status-type attack worth using; I just took this opportunity to prove it once with Gravity so that I don't have to again.

As for card values it can use, it could go up to a 7. I think I saw an 8 try and come up, but I broke it with a 9 immediately. Of course, since this isn't a Disney boss (well, technically it is but I don't want to get into that argument again) the Dinsey card is usable and it causes a giant table to generate in the middle of the room. This is more useful than it seems but be careful to get off it when its use is over since when Trickmaster removes it, it can damage you.

At this stage, this thing is more of an endurance match than challenging (I let it do some stuff for fairness since I did obliterate Hades and he's supposed to be the hardest in this portion of the game). The reward isn't worth it either way;



This enemy card is, without a doubt, one of the most useless - if not THE most useless - as its effect requires YOU to get cardbroken to work. In the event that this does happen, it reduces the value of the card that caused the break by a whole 1 point. If you do get broken, it's going to be either by a sleight (which can't be reduced) or a 0 (which also can't be reduced) so it's completely, fucking pointless. Boss cards!



Queen: What is the meaning of this? Where did that Heartless come from?

Well, I'd guess the ceiling since in Kingdom Hearts it does descend from there even though there's no sign of it when you're on the ceiling. So, hammerspace is a logical guess.

Queen: So, you refuse to answer? You're hiding something! They're plotting against me! Seize them immediately!
Alice: Please, Your Majesty, wait! It was you who commanded us to destroy the Heartless. Your Majesty, in her prudence, didn't trust us as first. So, at Your Majesty's command, we fought the Heartless to prove ourselves. Isn't that right, Sora?
Sora: We did? I, uh, mean, we did! Your, erm, Royaliness.
Queen: I...told you...to do that?
Alice: Don't you remember?
Queen: Don't be ridiculous! I never forget anything! Of course I gave the command. Alice, you did splendidly.

At this she leaves, leaving the troupe on their own.

Sora: Way to improvise! I never would've thought of that.
Alice: But the Cheshire Cat said as much. "Try too hard to remember and your memory might lie to you." The Queen would never admit she forgot, so she remembered something...that didn't happen.
Sora: ...
Alice: What is it?
Sora: I guess you'll be safe now.

Yeah, like I said, the only thing useful the Chesire Cat said was that one line and it didn't make a lick of sense until just now.

Now with this done, there's just Monstro left until I've run out of World Cards. In light of this, I'm going to be insane and let you guys choose my deck for Monstro for me (since my playstyle should be something you're aware of by now). The cards you can choose from are:



Note that (P) denotes a Premium card, the numbers given after a cards name are the values I have of it, cards without numbers are - obviously - enemy cards, and I have 800 CP (which allows for pretty much any plausible deck given the above cards and then some).

This update is sponsored by the letter "b". I wonder if you can deduce why.




Well, that sounds like someone we know (of) already. She actually hasn't even spoken yet, and won't do so for quite a while.

Sora: While we were all swimming at the beach, she'd draw a picture of it instead. Sometimes she drew us, too! She was really good at it. I think sometimes Riku and I would fight over who would get his picture drawn next. But one day, she was gone. Just like that. I think our parents knew the reason. They might've even tried to explain it to me. But I was little. I probably didn't understand what was happening. I remember crying a little after she was gone. But that's it. I still can't remember her name.

We're around halfway through the game, and the exceedingly long monologues have only just really began. We still don't even know who the main villain is after all, and considering the genre...



Jiminy: Anyone notice something odd? Sora's remembering things, instead of forgetting them. Hmm... Maybe forgetting things is the only way to reach the memories buried deeper down.
Sora: So it's like those black-robed guys said. "Our most precious memories lie deep in our hearts, out of reach." And all that stuff about losing being finding and finding being losing... I didn't get it at first, but maybe this is what they were talking about.

We found that out quite a while ago. The buzz word of this part of the floor is "repetition"!

Going up...



Hey, it's those guys again! It's a fair bet these are our villains (well, I'd say it's been obvious since we met Axel but details) but none of them has decided to take centre stage as of yet.

Axel: Let's see how far our boy will go, then. Think it's time for another round?
Larxene: Only if it's my turn to play. You had your fun on the first floor.

Larxene is, by far, my favourite antagonist in this game even though we don't really see her that much. She can be a complete dick, and she acts like this as basically a game but you do not want to fuck around with her. It's pretty obvious she's going to be our next plot boss.




Larxene: Fine. But who says I can't have my way with him first?
Axel: Don't break him.
Larxene: Do I detect a soft spot?
Axel: He's partly one of us.

Do not expect to find out what the hell he means with this, in this game. That's Kingdom Hearts II information.

Larxene: I'm not going to break the toy, Axel - just play with it. I'm not dumb.
Axel: Then you won't mind the warning. Remember, Sora is the key. We need him if we're going to take the Organization.
Larxene: So you're in on it, too? Well, keep it under your hood until the time is right.

Well, it appears like our currently known villains are not happy at all with their superiors. In-fighting within the villains is a shame, but most of these traitorous bastards deserve to die anyway. By that I mean all but two; Larxene is one, but Axel is not the other.

Oh and Larxene teleported away.




Dun dun dun.

Back with the party;



Sora: Nope. For whatever reason, her name's the only thing that isn't coming back.

We do learn mystery girl's name... eventually.

That said, next time is the only place we can go to:



I'm still open for deck suggestions. Same cards as before, only now with a 950 CP limit (since I've been using an Element Raid deck for the early parts of Monstro, and to call it broken is to call Larxene merely "cool". It is an understatement).

It's so fucking cold, and so fucking dark. In the belly of a shark whale.



I just love Sora's face in that portrait; he looks kind of like he wants to lick the walls or something.

(Incidentally, I was wrong about it being cold and dark. I guess that truly does apply to sharks. Go figure.)

Goofy: Nice and warm, too. I'm starting to feel like a nap.

One must wonder what feeling like a nap is like.

???: Shouldn't you be a little more worried? Don't you get it? You're inside the belly of Monstro the Whale.
Jiminy: Why, I know that voice...

Is it an old man? I think it's an old man. I bet it's an old man.



Oh, it's a child. Dammit.

Jiminy: You can't get away from me, son. I'm your conscience. Remember?
Pinocchio: Sure, Jiminy. I've been a good boy while you were gone. How did you end up inside Monstro, anyway?
Sora: We sort of used a special way...
Goofy: It's so special, we don't know how we did it!

Christ, this is like the 6th floor. You should know by now that it's world cards.

Pinocchio: That's too bad. I was hoping you could help me and Father get out of here.
Jiminy: Well, I'll be! Geppetto's here, too?
Pinocchio: Sure. Follow me!

That's the least reassuring confirmation possible. I think Pinocchio might secretly be evil.

...What? It makes sense!

Anyway, new enemies and stuff;



Tornado Step. It comes in a group of five, usually, and dies in a boosted Fire/Blizzard Raid.



Barrel Spiders are annoying as crap. They only have one attack and it instantly kills them but it can hurt a lot and you don't get any EXP out of it. Fortunately, they only use cards with a value of 4 so they're not that tough in the long run.

The rest is pretty much stuff that's in every single world in some form (Shadows, Large Bodies, Yellow/Green Elementals) and Search Ghosts.

As for the unique treasure?



Oh, hell yes! The fire version of Blizzard Raid.

And, of course, one last thing on the way to the next room;




I can't say I've ever used this before since the only summon worth a crap is Cloud, and you'd be hard pressed to want to use Aero and Gravity in the same deck anyway. Incidentally, this shows how overlevelled I am, since we don't get Aero cards for quite a while.



Second Premium Bonus; another Blizzard card. I have more Premium Blizzards than I know what to do with.



Watch out, man! You're a part of the plot this time!

In Kingdom Hearts 1, Monstro had to be entered but didn't need to be finished. It was 100% optional; you didn't even need to do anything beyond entering and you could go on ahead. Here, it was put in. Instead of Deep Jungle. I cannot even begin to fathom why.

However, in Kingdom Hearts 1, finishing Monstro was beneficial as it was the requirement to open up Geppetto's "shop" wherein meeting certain requirements would net you free Gummi Ship blueprints.

Geppetto: Bless my soul, it's Jiminy Cricket! How did you get here?
Jiminy: You tell me! How does a clockmaker wind up in the belly of a whale?
Geppetto: Well, it's a long story...

Cue mandatory fade to black.

Donald: So you sailed out to look for Pinocchio...
Goofy: ...and Monstro swallowed you!

Really. The game sums it up in two lines, and thinks this requires a fade to black to indicate a passage of time hinting at an epic tale but... Japaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

Geppetto: Well, it was worth it, because I found my son.
Sora: But now you can't get out, can you? It must be awful being stuck inside Monstro.



Geppetto: There's nothing better than being reunited with someone you care about.

He's made of wood. That's just a little weird.

Sora: I feel the same way.
Geppetto: I don't care if I'm trapped here, so long as I have Pinocchio.
Sora: Speaking of which... Where is he?
Geppetto: I expect he's off exploring. That boy has been poking around just about every square inch of Monstro. He won't tell me why it's so important. I tell him it's dangerous, but he won't listen.

That's weird; he won't tell his own father but he told us in the world's introduction.

Sora: You want us to find him, right? C'mon guys, let's get going!

On the way to the next plot door...



So, I missed the screencap of the original acquisition, since I wasn't really paying attention (although I didn't need to). Regardless, this proves I got it and saves me explaining it. That said, I wouldn't use this unless the reload counter got to "3" and even then there's better alternatives.



Useful! This is one of those aforementioned better alternatives. What it does, is an automatic reload when you run out of cards, and any sleighted count as being in stock so if you want to hold on to a sleight whilst reloading it wastes a reload (it lasts for 3 reloads).




It's the puppet! In a room with one platform... and lots of acid. Must be the stomache.

Jiminy: Pinocchio, you naughty boy! You know Geppetto worries when you wander off by yourself.
Sora: What are you doing, anyway? Looking for something?

Christ, Sora. He told us not that long ago he wants to find a way out. Keep up.

Pinocchio: I'm looking for treasure!

No you're not, and - of course - it's obvious when he's lying.

Jiminy: Here we go again!
Goofy: Now, don't be so hard on the little fella. We promise not to get mad, Pinocchio. Is that why you're afraid to tell? No need to fret. Tell us the truth - we'll understand. Put yer trust in Goofy!
Pinocchio: I was looking for a way out. Father says he's happy, but it's my fault we're stuck here. I shouldn't have run away from home. I want to help Father get home to the workshop. But he'll worry if I tell him what I'm doing.
Jiminy: So that's why you had to lie.
Donald: All you need now is courage! Tell Geppetto the truth. If you tell him how you really feel, I bet he'll help you find a way out.

And thus the redemption begins.

Sora: We'll give you a hand!
Pinocchio: Really? Okay, I'll give it a try! Wish me luck, Jiminy!
Jiminy: No more keeping secrets, then. Have we got a deal?
Pinocchio: Sure! I'll be brave and tell Father how I really feel. No lies this time!



This is supposed to be a... quake... inside the stomache of a whale.

Donald: I got a bad feeling!
Jiminy: Pinocchio, run for it!

This can't end well. This won't end well.

...But it's only the second plot room. Aversion!



Meet Parasite Cage. He's sorta hard, not because he's a hard fight but because the floor is made out of fucking acid and it hurts, for like 1 HP every four seconds or something. It's easy to get sort of stuck in it though so it racks up pretty fast, well fast-ish.



See! It hurts!

Other attacks:



This leads to him smashing the ground and it causes a mini-quake. See: Trickmaster for a, somehow, more effective version of this. Yes, really.




Spitting stomache acid at Sora! Illogically, this doesn't cause instant death. It doesn't really hurt either.


(Since it seems to have been forgotten; card reward contains link to the video)

Very useful enemy card. Causes a guaranteed break to the opponent's card. I probably won't use it though, since it's basically a weaker Zantetsuken.



Oh, yeah, in case you can't tell Parasite Cage is eating Pinocchio. Kind of. He's supposed to be in the thing's stomache... cage... mouth... area... but in the fight PCage opens his gaping maw wide at least once and Pinocchio's not there at all.

Sora: Pinocchio, be brave! Don't give up! Try fighting your way out!
Pinocchio Be brave... Okay, I'll try!




Is... is it just me, or is his nose even longer now?



Pinocchio: Don't worry, I'm okay. Just a little sticky... But I have a great idea! The Heartless spit me out when I started struggling. Why don't we try the same thing with Monstro?

The idea of being a little sticky after being inside something...

Sora: Of course! If we're lucky, Monstro might cough us up!
Donald: Great idea! Let's go deeper and try it!

That's really not helping...

Pinocchio: I'm goi-
Jiminy: No, it's too dangerous. You should be with Geppetto. No use escaping from Monstro if you two get seperated again!
Pinocchio: I guess you're right. Be careful, everybody!

Nothing exciting happens between here and the next room, but I do reach level 36. This is important.



I think this is new? I don't really remember, any more. It's different to the normal stuff at least.

Basically, in here, is aout 3 lines of forgettable dialogue and the only time we see the worst gimmick in the game. It really is easier to describe visually, so I made a video;



Oh. And we got Dumbo's card. Another useless summon to add to the pile labelled "NOT CLOUD". I swear there'll be a point where I use these, but I'll be damned if it's either not-ironically or not in (a) bonus video(s) where I do it for the sake of showing off everything.



Mini-quake. Again.




Goofy: Where's Pinocchio and his dad?



Jiminy: They're gone. They must've gotten out safely.
Sora: Without you? I thought there was no escaping your conscience!
Jiminy: I don't mine being left behind, as long as they're both safe. Maybe Pinocchio doesn't need me after all. That little puppet used to have trouble telling right from wrong. But he's come a long way. Maybe he doesn't need Jiminy Cricket anymore. Maybe he's better off without me nagging him all the time...
Sora: Don't you remember what Geppetto said? "There's nothing better than being reunited with someone you care about." I bet Pinocchio's counting the days till he can see you again.

And on that d'aww note, the mood whiplash that is Monstro ends.

Next time; beating the first genuinely difficult boss of the game! And fuck using this deck for that; it's a good deck, sure, but it's not that good.

I'm looking forward to the next boss fight. I'm still stuck there in Re:CoM.

Also, I think it'd be a good idea if you updated the OP with links to all the updates. For a while I didn't even know you had done anything past Agrabah. =P

I knew there was something I was forgetting <.<"

The next boss is, indeed, a bit of a bugger but I still managed it first time. Granted, I am overlevelled - as can be witnessed by me knowing Tornado quite a while before having Aero - but said boss is usually hard regardless.

E; All 20 parts are now on the OP.

Yays!

Unlike normal, there's someone waiting here for us. I'm sure you remember who it is; it's not like it was made obvious at the previous floor or anything.



Hey, it's Larxene. I'm sure you can guess what this means as well, and how exceptionally fun it may or may not be.

Larxene: Ooh, aren't you clever? The name's Larxene. Are you enjoying your stay in Castle Oblivion? I bet it's nice to peel all the worthless memories away...and awaken the true memories that lie deep in your heart. But you're still forgetting something, aren't you, Sora? The most importnt thing. When that poor girl hears you've forgotten her name, she'll be heartbroken.
Sora: You know her?! Is she...here?
Larxene: U-huuuuh. The bad guys are holding her deep within the castle. And you, the hero, have to go save her. Sadly, there's a catch...

Cue ridiculously short FMV. It's like 5 seconds long.





That charm... it was a plot point of Kingdom Hearts 1. Even if it does look different to the one he got then. Of course, Larxene attacked during cutscene so she had an unfair disadvantage; at least, or maybe annoyingly, it wasn't a quick time event.



Sora: What's...that? Is that mine?
Larxene: Tsk, tsk. You've been wearing it all this time, and you forgot? No, you couldn't have. The memory is engraved in your heart. Now think, Sora. What, oh what, could it be? Who gave it to you?



Nami? That contradicts my memory of the events, but I'm sure Sora knows better since he's remembering these things. Maybe I'm forgetting things as we go through the castle as well.

Larxene: That's right! Free the memory from your heart!
Sora: Nami...Naminé.
Larxene: Well, it's about time. That's right...She's the one that gave you the cheesy good luck charm. Not that you remembered. No surprise, seeing as you forgot her NAME. Talk about heartless! It'd serve you right if I smashed this piece of junk!

I can see where this is going to lead. Most people hate the conclusion of this, but I for one love it.

Sora: Don't you touch it! It's precious to me!
Larxene: Precious? Spare me! Ten seconds ago you didn't even know what it was!

Cue the boss fight! To a lot of people, this is that one boss - especially on Re CoM apparantly - but I don't find it that bad any more. On the first playthrough, though, this fight is very difficult since you don't know what to expect. You could guess her element easily, but she has no weaknesses. Regardless...

Larxene got her ass handed to her on the first try

The reward for kicking her ass?



But, I got something far more satisfying than a mediocre spell card out of this fight as well...




This is, by far, one of the most broken sleights in the entire game... if not the most broken one. As long as you keep your deck kept up to date, you can one shot every random encounter with this one sleight. The only drawback to it, is the low numeric combination needed but that can be easily circumvented with two 0s and a 6 which is the most sane way of doing so anyway.



Sora: Who asked you?!
Larxene: Does it hurt 'cause it's true? Grow up. If you're going to be a baby, then here - play with these. They're more cards made from your memories. Say "thank you" like a good boy. Ta-ta!

Atlantica, Hundred Acre Wood, Neverland and Hollow Bastion are now available. One of these, is not like the rest.

Sora: Wait, Larxene! Where are you? Don't you dare hide from me! Show yourself!
Goofy: Sora?
Sora: I hate her. It's not fair that she's the one who made me remember...

Moving on.



Back with the Organisation, I see.



Axel: Throwing the battle? Looks to me like you plain old lost the battle.
Larxene: H-How dare you?! You just don't appreciate the finer nuances of -




Axel: Can we help you, Vexen? It's not very often we see you topside.

Possibly the second best character of the main story, Vexen is an interesting individual as he, well, seems to prefer being on the sidelines more than going on the offense which seems unlike an Organisation member based on what has been seen so far, i.e. Axel and Larxene fighting Sora as soon as it was logically possible.

Vexen: I came to lend a hand. I remain unconvinced of any potential in this "hero" you've been coddling. Perhaps an experiment would put my doubts to rest.
Larxene: I knew this would happen. Everything's an experiment with you.
Vexen: I'm a scientist. Experimentation is what I do.
Axel: Whatever. Do what you want. But cut the act. Testing Sora is just an excuse to test your little follower.
Vexen: I'll have you know he's the product of much research.

Hmm... this would be something interesting. Probably not, though, but it could be.

Axel: Have your fun. But take this with you. A wild card to keep the game fresh.



Jeez, that was an awful, awful pun. Really, trite.

Axel: Now don't tell me I don't respect my elders.
Vexen: I dare say I won't.



Vexen's follower? But that looks like someone important to the "plot". Hrm...



Sora: We don't have time! They've got Naminé. We have to rescue her!

Goddammit Sora. It wasn't that long ago, you didn't even remember who she was and was angsting over her name and before that you were having angstgasms over Riku! Have you forgotten him, inspite of what you said near the beginning?

Goofy: Sora sure seems worked up.
Donald: Can you blame him? After all this time, he finally remembers her... only to find out she's being held prisoner!
Goofy: Good point. If we heard the king was in danger, we'd be upset, too.

They remember their king, but Sora seemingly doesn't remember his best friend? Oblivion must be damaging his memory more than theirs for some reason. It is the only logical conclusion.

Next time:



or



or



or



Which one? I don't know. You tell me!

Wonderful to see regular updates again!

Nicely handled boss there...

Regardless, cast a vote for Hollow Bastion, only because it sounds cool.

My vote goes to getting 100 Acre Wood out of the way. I've never really liked that world.